Things to know about dating someone whose parents are divorced

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In my opinion, it is very important to find out if the prospective shidduch has another role model for a healthy relationship. If they are close to a mentor, i. Omitting some possibilities from a list is a strategy that works most of the time. But there are no other possibilities here. I think one should not exclude children from divorced families automatically, but one would need to be far more circumspect and cautious. The research that was quoted by Lior only tells a part of the story.

A far more important issue, which we are too quick to pass over, is to understand how those who manage to build successful functional homes even though coming from broken homes themselves manage to do so. It seems that a motivated person from a broken home may be better than an unmotivated person from a dysfunctional unbroken home! Ok, reb yid; that sounds good and all. It seems that it is better to go out with people who come from seemingly stable homes I.

I have met children from divorced parents that have resolved to invest in their marriage not to end up where their parents did, and it worked. IMHO there are no rules to classify kids of divorced parents. Yet statistics things to know about dating someone whose parents are divorced demonstrate that children of divorced parents have a significantly greater things to know about dating someone whose parents are divorced failure rate themselves, at least double the average divorce rate.

Triple when both spouses come from broken homes. How is that any better than someone who has divorced parents? You can avoid both if both have a negative impact on their children. Both my wife and I are remarried from divorces. Lior can quote statistics from today till tomorrow but the key to a good shidduch is is meryl davis dating her dancing with the stars partners a well adjusted, happy person with a lev tov.

Divorced parents can teach their kids how to be happy. The reason why kids from divorced homes are more likely to divorce themselves is because they saw dysfunction and came to view it as normal. That creates an unhappy person and a vicious cycle. They never got help, they kept seeing their parents fight etc. Look into the shidduch and look into the parents. My parents are divorced, and I have made it a point to be around people in good marriages to be able to observe first hand what can make a marriage work.

I have often found that girls from families where the parents are still married, can often not appreciate the hard work dating sites free over 50 takes to get to that point. Assuming their first memories of their parents are when they were around 3 years old, their parents were likely married for four years before they remember anything.

In my situation, I saw the flaws in my parents marriage from a young age. I have always had to reconcile how two people things to know about dating someone whose parents are divorced I love and care about so much can make each other miserable. I did a better job deleting them same ones as they came up the last time we had this discussion. Yw mod, I would love to meet you in person, Each time you post, you show such a kind side of you. My sincere apologies that things to know about dating someone whose parents are divorced point came across harshly.

I solely intended the point to make a general, and not a specific or individual, societal observation. There are rules and there are exceptions to the rule. I was focusing on the rule. I do certainly realize there are exceptions to the rule, and apologize for not being clearer about that fact. I just think it is important to consider all aspects of a shidduch, and divorce familial history is one of them. Extenuating factors relieving and mitigating some of the negatives of divorce is certainly important to look at.

And each shidduch proposal must be individually considered and evaluated, not decided based on generalities. But generalities also need to be considered things to know about dating someone whose parents are divorced a societal scale to at least bring awareness to that a familial divorce history has a propensity to negatively affect children. And again I apologize for not being clearer in what I was trying to convey. The inclusion of some names on your list is misleading.

Lior — your last post explaining how extremely scrutinizing a person must be when dating someone from a divorced home because of all the statistics sounds very seriously void of what we Jews call bitachon and emunah. Lior- I agree with you and some other posters that yea it is important to look into how the divorce affected the prospect shidduch.

The problem arises when you put too much emphasis on this thought. There are many statistics that also discuss how parents from together homes who are constantly at work and have no time for their kids also affect them. Or how bullying in school can have a long term affect on someone. Or how expectations of parents on their kid can have a huge negative impact on them.

I am not discharging the stats you have posted as yes many stats are correct. But I disagree that this is a rule. When looking at the prospective shidduch, look at the person first and foremost and see how their life events have shaped them. Get to know them, it is unfair to judge people like that. Just because divorce is painful and people know it is a terrible thing doesnt make it a better target than what people could be suffering inside.

One must take into account the person as a whole. My parents are divorced. As I am looking for my shidduch, I have had to seriously think about what I need in a marriage as opposed to what my mother would want. Part of the hishtadlus was that since I have been entertaining the idea of shidduchim for over a year that I made sure to find a family that I could get close with.

What I saw in their home as time went on is that they were not happily married but felt stuck together. After I realized that, I ended up really changing my hashkafic and pretty much my entire shidduch criteria because I realized that in real life, making the initiative is always more important than the end result. Yes, she was childless, and that was the reason for the divorce.

That is a totally valid reason for a divorce, that is not an inherent fault in the person. There are many other totally valid reasons for divorce thaf are not because if an inherent fault in either side. You would turn someone things to know about dating someone whose parents are divorced for a shidduch because there parents are divirced, without even knowing why?

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